If you follow me on Twitter you know I was doing my version of live commentary throughout the entire pre-show on E! and the actual Oscars on ABC.
Here’s a recap of my Tweets along with photos and some extra thoughts :)
Overall I was disappointed with the lack of shoes being shown, but the dresses were pretty amazing.
SOME OF MY TWEETS:
- *Mariah Carey is DISGUSTING!!! Stop playing with your dress. Nobody wants to see your coochie!!! Jeeze bitch.
- *Zoe Saldana looks amazinggggg. So pretty ♥
- *Dear Mrs Cameron… Eat a damn cracker.
- *I hope Mo’nique shaved her legs this time
- *@ryanseacrest you forgot to ask Sigourney Weaver what she’s wearing! I’m guessing its Lanvin but could be wrong.
- *Ummm Miss Jay, how can we take your fashion advice seriously when you have silver spray paint hair?
- *Stand up STRAIGHT Miley Cyrus!! My goodness.
- *SJP… Do I love what you’re wearing or don’t I? Not sure yet but I DO know that your arms are bangin. Love u.
- *Charlize Theron… Looks like two labias covering your tatas. Are you a movie star or a boobie star??
- *Meryl Streep!!!!! Effing WERQ woman!!! Shit I love her!!!!!!!!!! Beeeautiful!
- *Kate Winslet… I love you but SNORESVILLE… Zzzzzzz It’s the#Oscars Spice it up. I suppose if you’re not nominated it’s ok be just ok
- *Helen Mirrin looks so elegant. I hope I look that good when I’m grown up*
- *Why does everyone think Jlo looks so great?? She looks like she’s in lavender bubble wrap. Am I alone here??
- *Did that chick just Kanye his speech??? WTF was that??
- *Queen Latifah looks STUNNING! Go girl GO!
- *I wish Kristen Stewart didn’t always look so uncomfortable. You’re famous bitch… get used to it.
- *I think Meryl is my winner for most beautiful for the evening. She is glowing and glamorous and stunning and beautiful.
What I was talking about:
Let’s start with miss slut bag Mariah Carey. Nasty. Please watch, and note at the beginning how she tries to flash us her crotch and Ryan Seacrest pulls her hand away… She continues to open her dress slit throughout the entire interview. Get a grip lady. You are not as hot as you think and you are too old for this shit.
Next up- Zoe Saldana in what I think was my favorite dress of the evening:
So girly! Sparkly and frilly… I’m in :)
Eat a cracker please…
She looked frail and sickly.
And Miss Mo did not, in fact shave. Apparently she just doesn’t. Here’s what I was talking about:
Mo’Nique at the Golden Globes. Yikes.
I guessed that she was in Lanvin and I was right-
Sigourney Weaver in a classic Lanvin style.
We’re supposed to take a man who spray paints his hair silver seriously?
J Manuel was on E! giving us his opinion on the red carpet fashion.
Miley Cyrys would have probably looked great if she would have just stood up straight. She was practicing her hunchback all evening. Maybe she was trying to look high fashion?
I wasn’t sure about SJP’s dress last night and I’m still unsure. In this photo it looks like maybe she isn’t sure either…
Here it was on Chanel’s Haute Couture runway
Next up: Charleze Theron and the dress that I thought looked very… sexual. Are those vajayjays on her tatas??
Not into it.
Meryl Streep on the other hand… Perfection. I wish I had a video for her because this picture doesn’t really do her justice. She was so elegant she took my breath away.
Kate Winslet may be beautiful and talented but her dress was BOOOOORING…
Helen Mirren… what an inspiration. I hope to look half this good at her age. What a beautifully elegant woman! What a cute couple too ;)
JLO came wrapped in Armani Privé lavender bubble wrap. What a bold fashion choice…
Bubble wrap… Bubble butt.
The “Miss Kanye” I was talking about
. It was a pretty funny moment. It’s funny because I tweeted that she Kanye’d his speech and that was exactly what tons of other people called it. I love that that is now a word.
The Queen WERQ’d!! She looked stunning!
Oh Kristen Stewart… Stop it with the awkwardness. You’ve got to get used to it or just stay home. If you saw her on stage you know what I mean.
So there it is. My Oscar wrap up. The highlight for me was Mariah Carey making and ass out of herself.
Hope you enjoyed!! What did you guys think?? Who were your favorites? Least favorites?